Wednesday, July 30, 2014

What I am Learning Lately

There are seasons in my life that I love.  And there are seasons in my life that I despise.  I'm not sure how I feel about this season ... but, y'all, I am trying to embrace it.  Ok ... and maybe squeeze the life out of it.  You got me.

Last Thursday truly summed up the season I am in.  I went completely out of my comfort zone and found myself sitting in the stands at the USA Track and Field Junior Olympics.  And, by comfort zone I totally mean out of the AC.  I was not created for outdoor living.

I snapped this one for Tors and Gabs when we first got there.  I am positive it is when we first got there because they aren't dripping in sweat.  Who was the smarty pants who decided to have a track and field event in Houston in July?! At one point Dean muttered, "Even my eyelids are sweating!"  He got in trouble for making us laugh ... because it was too hot to laugh!

We endured the heat because Torrey's bestie, Kirsten, was running the 2000M Steeplechase.  This was her fourth Junior Olympics, and we just knew she was going to win it all.

When it was time for her race, the girls lined up, they shot off the gun and immediately shot it again because someone false started.  The girls lined up again and this time they were off without an incident.  We weren't sitting where we could see the start line and as the girls came around for the first lap, Kirsten wasn't in the group.  We started asking questions and quickly learned that she had false started and therefore was disqualified from the race.  Just like that she was done.  No second chance. No do over. (New rules ... please feel free to write a letter to whoever.)

There were tears ... by all of us.  Because we knew how hard she had worked. She gave up a lot for that one race.  She was ready.  She should have won.  But that was not what happened.

But, guess what?! Today in Des Moines, Iowa, she ran again.  In another Junior Olympics.  Same race.  Completely different outcome.  She won the whole thing and is coming home with a gold medal.  Y'all.  I know an Olympic gold medalist.  

Please pause with me and ugly cry because when I got that news I did just that.  A little bit because I love Kirsten as if she were my own.  And a lot a bit because THAT is the season I am in ... one of trusting God to restore.  

Last Thursday was devastating.  It was terrible.  The worst.  But before we even got home, we had a text from Kirsten and in that text she gave it to Jesus.  In the midst of her hurt and frustration and anger she knew that He had a reason and she trusted Him.  

Y'all.  I want so desperately to be like Kirsten.  In the midst of the hurt and the anger and the frustration I want to completely trust Jesus.  I want to know deep within me that He has a purpose for it and that I will learn something good from it.  I don't want it to be just words ... I want it to be real.  This is my prayer for me  ... that I will flat out trust Him no matter where I land or what situation I am walking through or what hurt I am living.  

Because the hurt and the anger and the frustration and the fear do not have to last forever.  Restoration comes.  Or, maybe not.  Restoration or not, good or bad, AC or heat stroke ... I just want to live in complete trust that God has got my every "this".

Monday, July 7, 2014

A Post in Which I Share Why Going to the Library Wasn't Such a Great Idea After All

Y'all.  I just won an award.  For the longest title on a blog post for a blog that no one reads.  

But, seriously, I maybe shouldn't have gone to the Library after all.  Because I finished one of the books in less than two days ... all 483 pages.  (Kate Morton does not disappoint!)  But, there is a price to pay for reading a book in less than two days ... and I am paying that price today.

10 loads of laundry.  That is my price.  I now know what it must be like to live in the Duggar household.  There are 3 of us ... how could we possibly have enough dirty towels to justify 2 loads of laundry in just towels?!  I'm a little scared now to read the next book.

Our weekend was quiet.  Torrey spent it with friends in Galveston.  Dean and I planned to go down the street and sit on the golf course to watch the fireworks ... and then the monsoon hit and I assumed they would have been cancelled.  Nope.  We watched them from our front door.  And promised that next year we would definitely be on the golf course ... except if it has recently rained.  Because I am funny about sitting in wet grass.

The dogs were not amused with the fireworks ... Dean and I took to calling the 4th what our dogs must call it ... "Night of Terror".  We were so thankful for our neighbors who shot off fireworks until 1am.  Every year.  By the end of the evening ALL of us needed to be on Prozac ... or something stronger!

Y'all.  Summer is almost over.  I have one month to go before I have to be back to school and I have a list a mile long of things I want to get done before that day ... I'm either going to have to wave the white flag or give up the Library for good.  

I'm now off to fold more laundry ... but I must admit ... the other Library book is sitting there begging me to pick it up (20 pages in and I am hooked ... I think we all knows what that means for the rest of the laundry!)

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Where We Are ... again

I feel like every time I bring back the blog I have to write a post about where we are ... because things just naturally change in 6 months time. And, while I once believed people actually read this thing ... let's be real.  Who am I kidding?  This is solely for me ... and I do go back and read what I have written quite often. Remember I told the Librarian I have been reading?  I didn't tell him WHAT I have been reading.

Torrey just graduated from High School.  Y'all.  It was just yesterday we were handing her off to her Kindergarten teacher and now here we are.  Senior year is a ball full of fun and stress.  I feel like we spent our year in the waiting room ... waiting for your college acceptances is not for the weak of heart!  Torrey applied to five school - Auburn, Alabama, TCU, Baylor and Texas A&M.  She got acceptance letters from five schools ... and will be attending her dream school in the fall.  A&M she is coming for you!

For the past 18 years she has been my sidekick.  There is not much I have done without her by my side. And I am asked a lot if I am OK with her going away to school.  My friends are legitimately scared for my sanity.

Listen, y'all ... we tried to get her to apply to THSU.  But she did not want to attend Townsend Home School University.  I know.  I don't understand why either.

But, here's the thing ... God is amazing.  We know He alone is the reason she is attending A&M ... and that would have been enough of a gift for me. We have watched Him work out every detail ... from her housing to her roommate to her classes.  But, He didn't stop there.  He has given me peace AND joy in sending her.  I am reminded daily that she is ready.  She is excited.  It is hard to wallow when you see your child so excited. I have been feeling lately like her going to college isn't going to ruin our relationship, but rather it will be strengthened.  I can't wait to see what the next four years have in store for her ... I know they are going to be amazing!

Dean has been concerned that we will need to find a hobby ... because evidently college students don't want their parents just appearing at their door every day.  

Is drinking coffee considered a hobby?

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Hello ... again!

I may have told Torrey today that I was going to revive the blog today ... due to the fact that it is July 1st and all.  My morning had me feeling all full of myself.

Y'all ... I went to the Library.  And checked out books.  For the first time since September 2007.  The Librarian may or may not have made a little bit of fun of me.  He had the right.  I felt the need to let him know that I HAVE been reading ... I'm not sure he 100% believed me.  He was a little shocked that I appeared back at the desk with books to check out ... which was all the motivation I needed to actually read the books.  Hopefully he will not need a book report to prove I did indeed read the books.  Because that is where I draw the line.

So my morning ... it involved Starbucks, a pedi, the Library and coming home to a clean house.  It was perfect.  I almost forgot it was July 1st ... but, then I remembered that I had a nightmare the night before about the first day of school. This happens every July 1st ... I kid you not.  

Torrey did inform me tonight that on Friday she would have 50 days to go until "Move In" day.  She got the death glare ... and totally deserved it.

I may need more than Starbucks, a pedi, Library books and a clean house to get myself through bringing her to college ... and leaving her there!