Sovreign

Occasionally I get a wild hair that I will blog again. I know that it is a good outlet for me and that I really should do it more ... especially since I like to go back and remember where we were. And when I do, I am reminded again and again that God is sovereign.

This year in Chapel we have been singing Chris Tomlin's song "Sovereign". 

Sovereign in the mountain air

Sovereign on the ocean floor

With me in the calm

With me in the storm

Sovereign in my greatest joy

Sovereign in my deepest cry

With me in the dark

With me at the dawn

In your everlasting arms

All the pieces of my life

From beginning to the end

I can trust you

In your never failing love

You work everything for good

God whatever comes my way

I will trust you

And as I sang the song on week 2, I completely came undone. Because sitting beside me, singing along, playing with my hand, hugging me, smiling at me, batting her beautiful eyelashes at me was little sister. THE little sister from here.

Y'all. I cried when her name was on my list at the beginning of the year (and I knew it would be ... I've had 4 of her 5 siblings. And only 4 because 2 came through Kindergarten together. Boo.) I cried when she appeared in my room on the first day of school ... holding the hands of her two besties. Not because I was sad she was in my room, but because I was overcome. I remember well those days 4 years ago. I remember holding her in the airport. I remember every feeling when I found out she was coming home. I prayed hard for her ... long before I knew her name or that she had the most ah-mazing eyelashes.

They are beyond glorious. But I digress ...

And in that song I heard God whisper to me that yes. Yes He is sovereign. And if I begin to question or doubt or wonder His goodness I only need to look at that little face and remember. He is for me. He is fighting for me. He has a plan. He is oh so good. 

There is such freedom in resting in His goodness.

Today we celebrated her 6th birthday. I teared up. (I'm already waving the white flag ... it is just going to be a soggy year!) I am praying that this year goes by slooooowly ... May is going to be rough!

I am praying that God will remind me of His goodness ... that I will never forget or take for granted His faithfulness. He is good. He is good. He is good.

Summer Is Here

It happened today ... summer arrived! I got a little giddy after I was finished with my pity party that my littles are first graders. The end of the year is bittersweet for teachers. Mostly a lot of bitter.

So ... summer plans? There are lots this year. A trip to the beach. A trip to Orlando for a teaching conference right after. And then a quick family meet up at Glacier National Park to celebrate my sister's birthday. And that is just June.

And I will blog. And I've been TRYING to only space once after sentences ... because evidently only old people space twice. When did spacing once become a thing? And when did it become a thing that identified you as old? I'm pretty sure my typing teacher would disagree. And yes. I took typing in high school. I'm fairly confident that also identifies me as old.

And I will enjoy Torrey being home. Because she is. With ALL her stuff. Which begs the question ... when did she get so much stuff? And why does she have so many clothes? And so many Tri Delta shirts? 

We will not discuss the shoes.

I also have other plans. I'm going to try to figure out calligraphy. There will be visits to the Library. And Starbucks. And Target before 9 in the morning. And craft projects. And cleaning out the garage ... but, good news peeps! The closet does not need to be cleaned out this year. Oh I kid. It needs to be cleaned, but only a little. Perhaps I've turned a corner on my messy closet-ness.

And pretty much the month of July will be spent getting Torrey's new dorm room ready ... because she has big ideas of how she wants it to look. I've learned from last year though. I won't make her room too cozy ... because I want her to come home more than she did last year!

I fully intend to make this summer count ... because all too soon I will be back in my little room with a new group of littles. Not gonna lie ... I'm giddy to go back already!

Monday

Mondays are hard. 

I should make that into a tee-shirt. But, seriously, I spent my morning dwelling so much in the hard, wishing for Spring Break, wanting the day to be over ... that I nearly missed the blessing that is Monday.

For one thing ... my desk is clean. Oh I joke. Because at the beginning of the year I went all rogue and got rid of my desk. But my little area is clean. I can't guarantee this will still be true once Wednesday rolls around.

For another ... my littles come in having spent the weekend missing me. They are a bit over me by the time Friday rolls around.

And also ... one of my littles brought me in a gift. A venus fly trap. When a mosquito hawk ventured into our room they started chanting to "feed the plant! feed the plant!" Um, that just seemed wrong. But, before the week is over I may have to find an insect to actually feed to the plant ... although I don't remember seeing that anywhere on my contract!

And then this ... it was supposed to rain all day today. Which means no recess. Which in Kindergarten language is pretty much the same thing as the Bataan Death March. But the rain didn't come and recess happened ... which makes me a hero in my littles eyes.

And finally this ... at some point in the day I stopped dreading Monday and started enjoying it. And in the day I found grace, and laughter, and unexpected hugs, and joy. If I had kept myself in the dreading of the day I would have missed out on the good of the day. 

So, I guess I should come up with a new tee-shirt idea ... 

Hello Monday! I'm glad you are here!

March the First

It is March 1st. March. I cannot believe it. February feels like it was a blink of the eye ...

I interject here to say that in January I told myself that I would start to blog again in February. Ya. That. Did. Not. Happen. I'm going to blame the bitter cold.

Anyways ... here we are in March. It used to be a ho hum month for me ... and then came 1996 and the arrival of Torrey. And March was forever changed for me. 

Lots has been going on in our little world. We put our house on the market and sold it kind of quickly ... we moved into a rental 10 days before Christmas. We are now trying to decide where we will live ... stay in our current neighborhood? Move into Houston? Build? Renovate? Crazy big decisions. Currently my vote is to buy the rental and renovate it ... because I absolutely love this house! Not so much the kitchen. Or the floors. Or the baseboards. Or the bathrooms. But other than those things I love it. I think what I love most is that we are completely at peace in this house. 

Also about the time of the move, we found out Torrey has a spot in the sorority house next year. We are all excited about the fun that will bring her. We are so thankful for the sweet sisters that God gave her.

My little class grew by one after Christmas. There were growing pains ... for me. My littles (once again) taught me much in the love and the acceptance they showed to our new friend. I can't imagine my world without him now. 

When we moved, we moved Sophie the cat into our room. It was the only place she could go in the new house without the dogs. For the past 11 years she has hidden and been fearful and afraid ... but now? She is a brand new cat. When I said we were all at peace I really meant we were ALL at peace.

Torrey is months from being a sophomore. IN COLLEGE. Please excuse me while I freak out. She has started her education classes. One of my best texts came the day of her first education class when she informed me SHE LOVES HER EDUCATION CLASS!!! I knew she would.

We switched church campuses this fall. Our church has a campus in our neighborhood and we finally made the switch. We love it! Dean is teaching a class again. We are excited to see what God is going to do in our little neighborhood.

A hodge podge post on the first of March ... not promising I will be back tomorrow ... but you never know!

I Really WAS Thankful ....

So, on November 1st I said I was going to blog every day the things I was thankful for ... and I knew.  I knew that I wouldn't make it to day 5.  Because my track record ...

Here's the thing I'm learning.  Grace is a good thing.  But giving myself grace is HARD.  I've come to realize this blog really is only for me ... for me to write on the days my heart needs to speak and for me to read on the days my heart needs to remember.  Y'all are welcome to read, but I write for me.  And, some days, much like Jerry Seinfeld chose not to run ... I chose not to write.

But, November. It is almost over. It was both the hardest and sweetest of months. I have grieved for a friend. Celebrated littles in my class learning how to read. Sold our house. Missed my girl. Found a new place to live. Changed church campuses. Prayed (often) that I would represent Christ well. 

These are the things that November has taught me. In the goodness and the hardness, Jesus is enough. 

(I found this draft on my blog posting thingee a year after  I wrote it. Why didn't I publish it a year ago? Who knows? But there is so much truth in it I am hitting the publish button on 11/1/15 ... it totally spoke to me and the journey I have been on. And, this blog is for me ... and clearly today my heart needed to remember.)

Beyond Thankful

Y'all.  I am crazy about this chick.  She is one of my greatest blessings.  And I cannot believe God found me worthy to be her mom.  

She is in love with Jesus.  She is smart.  And hilarious.  She is a hard worker.  She is loyal.  She is kind.  She is quick to forgive ... even when it isn't deserved.  

She is currently living in Aggie Land ... and loving every minute.  She has surrounded herself with a sweet group of friends.  She is studying hard.  She is not sleeping much ... ahhh.  College life!

I love getting texts from her ... even the ones that ask if she can wash certain clothes together!  My favorite one today?  Her asking when we were going to come and see her ... it took everything within me to not jump in the car and zoop up there!

So today ... she is the cry of my thankful heart.  Well ... not just today.  Everyday.

Thankful for 22 Years ... and Counting!

I think we can all agree that there are things in our lives that we would do completely differently given the chance. So many things. Because for one ... my wedding dress would have had a longer train to swoop around me for the pictures.

But I digress.

There is one decision that I would never change. And that would be saying "Yes!" to Dean when he asked me to marry him.

There is no one I would want to go through life with. Ups and downs. Good and bad. Hard and easy. He is my rock. He leads our family well. He provides for our family well. He is an ah-mazing father ... Tors is one lucky girl. He is hilarious. He gets my crazy at the beginning of the school year. Shoot. He gets my crazy all during the school year. He is a "fixer" ... wagons and other things. Torrey and I both know we can call/text him about a problem and he will have it fixed before we can think about it again. Case in point? Tors amazing class schedule next semester ... all him.

Y'all. I am lucky. He was worth the wait. And worth trusting God for His best for me. And I'm not only thankful for him on the 2nd of November ... but every day before and after.