Monday

Mondays are hard. 

I should make that into a tee-shirt. But, seriously, I spent my morning dwelling so much in the hard, wishing for Spring Break, wanting the day to be over ... that I nearly missed the blessing that is Monday.

For one thing ... my desk is clean. Oh I joke. Because at the beginning of the year I went all rogue and got rid of my desk. But my little area is clean. I can't guarantee this will still be true once Wednesday rolls around.

For another ... my littles come in having spent the weekend missing me. They are a bit over me by the time Friday rolls around.

And also ... one of my littles brought me in a gift. A venus fly trap. When a mosquito hawk ventured into our room they started chanting to "feed the plant! feed the plant!" Um, that just seemed wrong. But, before the week is over I may have to find an insect to actually feed to the plant ... although I don't remember seeing that anywhere on my contract!

And then this ... it was supposed to rain all day today. Which means no recess. Which in Kindergarten language is pretty much the same thing as the Bataan Death March. But the rain didn't come and recess happened ... which makes me a hero in my littles eyes.

And finally this ... at some point in the day I stopped dreading Monday and started enjoying it. And in the day I found grace, and laughter, and unexpected hugs, and joy. If I had kept myself in the dreading of the day I would have missed out on the good of the day. 

So, I guess I should come up with a new tee-shirt idea ... 

Hello Monday! I'm glad you are here!

March the First

It is March 1st. March. I cannot believe it. February feels like it was a blink of the eye ...

I interject here to say that in January I told myself that I would start to blog again in February. Ya. That. Did. Not. Happen. I'm going to blame the bitter cold.

Anyways ... here we are in March. It used to be a ho hum month for me ... and then came 1996 and the arrival of Torrey. And March was forever changed for me. 

Lots has been going on in our little world. We put our house on the market and sold it kind of quickly ... we moved into a rental 10 days before Christmas. We are now trying to decide where we will live ... stay in our current neighborhood? Move into Houston? Build? Renovate? Crazy big decisions. Currently my vote is to buy the rental and renovate it ... because I absolutely love this house! Not so much the kitchen. Or the floors. Or the baseboards. Or the bathrooms. But other than those things I love it. I think what I love most is that we are completely at peace in this house. 

Also about the time of the move, we found out Torrey has a spot in the sorority house next year. We are all excited about the fun that will bring her. We are so thankful for the sweet sisters that God gave her.

My little class grew by one after Christmas. There were growing pains ... for me. My littles (once again) taught me much in the love and the acceptance they showed to our new friend. I can't imagine my world without him now. 

When we moved, we moved Sophie the cat into our room. It was the only place she could go in the new house without the dogs. For the past 11 years she has hidden and been fearful and afraid ... but now? She is a brand new cat. When I said we were all at peace I really meant we were ALL at peace.

Torrey is months from being a sophomore. IN COLLEGE. Please excuse me while I freak out. She has started her education classes. One of my best texts came the day of her first education class when she informed me SHE LOVES HER EDUCATION CLASS!!! I knew she would.

We switched church campuses this fall. Our church has a campus in our neighborhood and we finally made the switch. We love it! Dean is teaching a class again. We are excited to see what God is going to do in our little neighborhood.

A hodge podge post on the first of March ... not promising I will be back tomorrow ... but you never know!

I Really WAS Thankful ....

So, on November 1st I said I was going to blog every day the things I was thankful for ... and I knew.  I knew that I wouldn't make it to day 5.  Because my track record ...

Here's the thing I'm learning.  Grace is a good thing.  But giving myself grace is HARD.  I've come to realize this blog really is only for me ... for me to write on the days my heart needs to speak and for me to read on the days my heart needs to remember.  Y'all are welcome to read, but I write for me.  And, some days, much like Jerry Seinfeld chose not to run ... I chose not to write.

But, November. It is almost over. It was both the hardest and sweetest of months. I have grieved for a friend. Celebrated littles in my class learning how to read. Sold our house. Missed my girl. Found a new place to live. Changed church campuses. Prayed (often) that I would represent Christ well. 

These are the things that November has taught me. In the goodness and the hardness, Jesus is enough. 

(I found this draft on my blog posting thingee a year after  I wrote it. Why didn't I publish it a year ago? Who knows? But there is so much truth in it I am hitting the publish button on 11/1/15 ... it totally spoke to me and the journey I have been on. And, this blog is for me ... and clearly today my heart needed to remember.)

Beyond Thankful

Y'all.  I am crazy about this chick.  She is one of my greatest blessings.  And I cannot believe God found me worthy to be her mom.  

She is in love with Jesus.  She is smart.  And hilarious.  She is a hard worker.  She is loyal.  She is kind.  She is quick to forgive ... even when it isn't deserved.  

She is currently living in Aggie Land ... and loving every minute.  She has surrounded herself with a sweet group of friends.  She is studying hard.  She is not sleeping much ... ahhh.  College life!

I love getting texts from her ... even the ones that ask if she can wash certain clothes together!  My favorite one today?  Her asking when we were going to come and see her ... it took everything within me to not jump in the car and zoop up there!

So today ... she is the cry of my thankful heart.  Well ... not just today.  Everyday.

Thankful for 22 Years ... and Counting!

I think we can all agree that there are things in our lives that we would do completely differently given the chance. So many things. Because for one ... my wedding dress would have had a longer train to swoop around me for the pictures.

But I digress.

There is one decision that I would never change. And that would be saying "Yes!" to Dean when he asked me to marry him.

There is no one I would want to go through life with. Ups and downs. Good and bad. Hard and easy. He is my rock. He leads our family well. He provides for our family well. He is an ah-mazing father ... Tors is one lucky girl. He is hilarious. He gets my crazy at the beginning of the school year. Shoot. He gets my crazy all during the school year. He is a "fixer" ... wagons and other things. Torrey and I both know we can call/text him about a problem and he will have it fixed before we can think about it again. Case in point? Tors amazing class schedule next semester ... all him.

Y'all. I am lucky. He was worth the wait. And worth trusting God for His best for me. And I'm not only thankful for him on the 2nd of November ... but every day before and after.

A November of Thanks

I woke up this morning and it was not only November, but it felt like November.  55 degrees in Houston?  I'll take it!

There was a time when November was all about Thanksgiving.  Today?  Not so much.  We seem to skim over Thanksgiving to get right to Christmas.  And Christmas?  Somehow we have forgotten the whole meaning of Christmas because TINSEL! LIGHTS! PRESENTS!  I am challenging myself to blog everyday for the things I am thankful for.  I want to focus on God's blessings instead of the noise going on around me.

I lost a friend Thursday night.  Until she retired in May, she had taught across the hall from me for 7 years.  Her death was shocking and sad and devastating.  But Friday morning I needed to be back in my classroom with 18 littles ... who needed me to be normal.  

Y'all.  Friday was the hardest and sweetest day of my teaching career.  

There were many times I whispered over and over and over, "Thank you, Jesus."  Because my class of littles? They were healing.  They made me laugh.  They hugged me HARD ... not because they knew I was sad, but because they love me.  They brought me little happy's ... just because (A&M jello molds and a mani/pedi ... yes please!)  And they were not thrilled that my Halloween costume was the "lady who hands out candy" ... but when they found out Dean was going to be the "man who hands out candy"?  APPALLING!  Because WHY were we dressing in the same costume?!

Y'all.  I laugh HARD on a daily basis.

I wish I could post a picture of them ... but, well, I just can't (or won't).  I sobbed when I got my class list in August ... because my class is just that amazing.  I did not see Thursday night on that day, but God sure did.  And He gave me this class for Thursday night, for Torrey going off to college, and for days when didn't I think I would be able to smile ... He knew this year and He gave me 18 amazing littles.  More than once I have told Him that I know how much He loves me because of these kiddos.  

So on November 1st (and every day before and after) I am thankful for my class of 18.  I am thankful that I get the privilege to be their teacher ... I may not change their lives this year, but they have already changed mine!

What I am Learning Lately

There are seasons in my life that I love.  And there are seasons in my life that I despise.  I'm not sure how I feel about this season ... but, y'all, I am trying to embrace it.  Ok ... and maybe squeeze the life out of it.  You got me.

Last Thursday truly summed up the season I am in.  I went completely out of my comfort zone and found myself sitting in the stands at the USA Track and Field Junior Olympics.  And, by comfort zone I totally mean out of the AC.  I was not created for outdoor living.

I snapped this one for Tors and Gabs when we first got there.  I am positive it is when we first got there because they aren't dripping in sweat.  Who was the smarty pants who decided to have a track and field event in Houston in July?! At one point Dean muttered, "Even my eyelids are sweating!"  He got in trouble for making us laugh ... because it was too hot to laugh!

We endured the heat because Torrey's bestie, Kirsten, was running the 2000M Steeplechase.  This was her fourth Junior Olympics, and we just knew she was going to win it all.

When it was time for her race, the girls lined up, they shot off the gun and immediately shot it again because someone false started.  The girls lined up again and this time they were off without an incident.  We weren't sitting where we could see the start line and as the girls came around for the first lap, Kirsten wasn't in the group.  We started asking questions and quickly learned that she had false started and therefore was disqualified from the race.  Just like that she was done.  No second chance. No do over. (New rules ... please feel free to write a letter to whoever.)

There were tears ... by all of us.  Because we knew how hard she had worked. She gave up a lot for that one race.  She was ready.  She should have won.  But that was not what happened.

But, guess what?! Today in Des Moines, Iowa, she ran again.  In another Junior Olympics.  Same race.  Completely different outcome.  She won the whole thing and is coming home with a gold medal.  Y'all.  I know an Olympic gold medalist.  

Please pause with me and ugly cry because when I got that news I did just that.  A little bit because I love Kirsten as if she were my own.  And a lot a bit because THAT is the season I am in ... one of trusting God to restore.  

Last Thursday was devastating.  It was terrible.  The worst.  But before we even got home, we had a text from Kirsten and in that text she gave it to Jesus.  In the midst of her hurt and frustration and anger she knew that He had a reason and she trusted Him.  

Y'all.  I want so desperately to be like Kirsten.  In the midst of the hurt and the anger and the frustration I want to completely trust Jesus.  I want to know deep within me that He has a purpose for it and that I will learn something good from it.  I don't want it to be just words ... I want it to be real.  This is my prayer for me  ... that I will flat out trust Him no matter where I land or what situation I am walking through or what hurt I am living.  

Because the hurt and the anger and the frustration and the fear do not have to last forever.  Restoration comes.  Or, maybe not.  Restoration or not, good or bad, AC or heat stroke ... I just want to live in complete trust that God has got my every "this".